Hispanic and black dating
Regardless of race there are certain attributes I want in a man that I'm in a relationship with; integrity and good character, nice teeth, confidence, self-respect, the ability to earn, provide, protect and a few other traits that my grandfather taught me a man should possess.
For some Black women, a man must be Black; first, foremost and always.
It meant feeling like a disgrace in the eyes of a light skinned Latina.
As an adult, I understand that her failed relationship with my grandfather, who was born in Santurce, Puerto Rico—he looked like he was straight from the motherland—was what drove my abuela’s hate. I realized what got to her, what got under her skin, and I flaunted my blackness even more.
It was on my grandmother’s death bed when she asked me and my [black] boyfriend when we planned on having babies.
I knew that was her way of apologizing and I accepted it.
But the older I got, the more I realized how prevalent those African roots were in my own Dominican heritage. “And black beautiful.” Being Latino is complex enough.
With all the cultures, religions, traditions, geographical compositions and mosaic of hues encompassed, it can be hard for Latinos to define themselves, and damn near impossible for someone on the outside to fully absorb the multiplicity of Latino culture.
[I also encountered] black women who disliked me for dating “their men.” Growing up, I felt like Latinas and African American girls were always divided—even after Big Pun and Fat Joe had us screaming “Boricua, morena.” But I’ve always yelled out both with full pride!