Non traditional dating
The wedding consists of an extensive set of ceremonies: asking permission to receive the bride, receiving the bride at her house, and bringing the bride to the groom's house.
Both Vietnamese and oversea-Vietnamese who desire to have a hybrid traditional Vietnamese and Western-style wedding will often incorporate the last two ceremonies with the Western-style wedding.
In the past, the groom's mother might not take part in the procession as a sign that she would not be a threat to the future bride; she would even "hide" for a short period upon the bride's welcoming to the groom's home. The number of people participating in the groom's procession varies but is usually restricted to a smaller number (20 or so) to make it easier on the bride's family, which must receive all the guests.
In the procession, the groom, his family and friends bear elaborately decorated lacquer boxes, covered in red cloth.
In actuality, this now obsolete ceremony was used in the past to confirm—last minute—that the marriage would still take place.
At the end of the ceremonies, there is a wedding reception for the two families and guests.
Before the wedding day, the groom's family would make a trip to the bride's home with a gift of betel nuts to officially ask permission to receive the bride.
In the past, most marriages were arranged by the parents or extended family, and while children were sometimes consulted, it was nearly always the parents' final decision.
It was not unusual for the bride and groom to meet for the first time at the day of their engagement.
This is decided by a Buddhist monk, Spiritual leader, or fortune teller due to the spiritual nature of the occasion.