Should a woman make the first move online dating
I’d always avoided internet dating or using apps to meet people, but I was excited to give it a try this time around. She said it was the only site she would use as men were far more respectful on there and it led to better dates. The key difference for Bumble – that women write first and as a man you can find matches but not initiate conversations – sounded like a gimmick to me.
But I quickly found that, on average, it changed the whole tone of the conversation. Most obviously, that it’s quite nice not the have to think of the “ice breaker” message.
Waiting for the woman to make the first move flies in the face of a lot of that.
Previously I’d be afraid of coming across as meek – something I’ve been told is not attractive, timid – also not attractive, or maybe I would send the wrong signal that I was “just not that into them”. After coming back to the dating world after a longish break, I signed up to almost every site and app I could think of.
I was happy to let someone else do that for a change.
But the biggest difference was around intent - and that difference changed the whole experience throughout.
The fact I was 35 years old and still in the dating scene is a clear sign that wasn’t working out for me.
Through Bumble I met a different sort of person, on terms that weren’t those I was used to. It’s led to freer conversations, more enjoyable dates, and led me to meet people I wouldn’t normally have met. Bumble started as an app to connect people with future significant others, but Bumble is no longer only a dating app.
That meant the conversations flowed a lot easier and we both gave them our full attention.
Admittedly I don’t have a huge sample size but the dates I went on that came from Bumble were more enjoyable overall. After taking the lead initially, more of the dates I went on resulted in women taking the lead throughout - which I found myself starting to prefer.
I’m not saying I have become a passive passenger during dates now but I’ve replaced my “assertive” and “confident” approach to online dating.
Bumble has taken a stand on the dick pic problem women face on other apps, banning pornographic material and shouting it from the rooftops - or in this case, a billboard.
So, with Bumble I found the women who wrote to me weren’t just responding to one of 100 messages they had received out of conditioned politeness.
It took me outside of my comfort zone and I ended up meeting some incredible women who expanded my horizons for whom I'd typically have gone on a date with. We firmly believe that life is about relationships, and our mission is to provide people with a better way to meet.